Friday, July 8, 2011

Mark Budman

10,000 Steps
Fiction by Mark Budman

A human being, which Josh reasonably believed he was, has to walk 10,000 steps a day for mate attraction and health. Josh didn't worry about the mate. He was already married to the world's most beautiful lawyer who had never chased ambulances or litigated asbestos in her life and who did more pro-bono work than someone who wants to get into politics.

But health was an elusive target. After his accident, Josh lost all hope to ever be healthy again, especially considering that as an office worker—a software developer—he hadn't been healthy for years even before the accident. Besides, how could he walk 10,000 steps a day when he lost his balance and walked as if an invisible force pulled and pushed him from side to side?

Josh's friend William recommended Veda, the Mount Everest guru. There were two ways to contact the guru: either to climb the mountain or fill out a form at Climbing was out of the question, and they charged $100 for the form. So Josh hacked into the Guru's website and asked Mr. Veda about the 10,000 steps.

"You can't hack your way into Nirvana," came the reply.

Josh considered planting a virus at the Guru's website. 

In the evening, he re-read the line again and again. The next morning, he had a better idea. He borrowed $1000 from William and made a line of T-shirts with the Guru's reply stitched in red, white and blue.

The shirts were an instant success. Josh sold almost 10,000 of them in the first year alone, most to employees of Symantec, Network Associates and AVG. He made a healthy profit and, as an added bonus, kept his wife happy. And everyone knows that keeping a lawyer happy is not a task for the lighthearted, and that domestic tranquility is key to a healthy life.

No comments:

Post a Comment